I have taken a LONG break from blogging, but there have been a lot of challenges we have all experienced in the last few years that have taught us things, and some challenges are still ongoing.
Moving to Minnesota would probably be one of the hardest challenges we as a family have experienced together. Dad had been applying for promotions for quite some time, but nothing seemed to be working out in Bentonville, so he started looking out of state. It was hard because we both had kind of a nagging feeling that we were supposed to move, but again- nothing was working out. It's hard to explain what it feels like to know you are supposed to do something but the opportunities aren't there for you to do them. I think it's a tender mercy from our Heavenly Father. I don't like change, and I handle it better if I'm slowly eased into it. Your Dad likes change and new adventures, so he handles it better than me. The opportunity to move to Minnesota came, and it was fast. Usually it can take months, but this was weeks, and we knew with out a doubt we were supposed to take this opportunity. It was so hard to say goodbye to our friends who had become family to us. I cried for days as it got closer, but you guys were troopers and were excited for what awaited us. When we said our final goodbyes we were all sad, it was definitely hard. At the last minute someone wanted to look at the house, so we had to do a very quick clean and get out of the house. I held in tears as we drove away. Not only had you guys grown up in that house, but so had your dad and I, we grew as parents.
We moved into the house we rented the day before school started for you guys. The first day of school we all were trying to put on brave faces, but we were sad and scared all at the same time. Change is hard! I drove Lexi and Ashlee to school, and it was foggy, like crazy foggy! I couldn't even see the school! The Middle School was next door to the Elementary School, and I accidentally drove there instead. It was good to laugh. I said goodbye to you guys as you put on your brave faces, and as I drove away I cried and cried. As I cried I also prayed. I knew we were supposed to be here and I asked Heavenly Father to bless you to have a great first day, and make friends. It was all I could do, I had to trust and have faith.
I got home and got Carly ready for school, then took her. Same thing all over again, lots of tears and prayers. The day went on, the movers brought all our stuff, and soon you guys were coming home on the bus. Lexi and Ashlee came home and I was so confident that my prayers were going to have been answered, I was excited to hear how great your day was. Ashlee walked in and collapsed on the couch and sobbed that it was terrible and she just wanted to go back home. I felt horrible, it was like a jolt to my heart to see such raw and sad emotion. Lexi, you looked at me and told me it was really bad- it was so hard. I couldn't even hide the disappointment I felt, I felt so defeated and let down by my Heavenly Father. Carly came home shortly after and said she made friends and had a great day- it made us all feel a tiny bit better. I had to walk out of the room and I remember just praying and asking why weren't my prayers heard or answered- I didn't like seeing how sad Lexi and Ashlee were. Right then the doorbell rang. Carly sprinted to the door- because she was the only one feeling peppy. It was 4 kids from the neighborhood, 2 of them went to middle school with Lexi and Ashlee. They came to introduce themselves so you guys would see familiar faces at school the next day. I broke down and thanked them for coming over. I tried to explain to them just how much it helped, but I was crying and probably looked like a crazy lady. Lexi and Ashlee felt better too, it was a direct answer to my prayers- and theirs too. The girls that came over didn't become best friends, but it opened a door. It took a while, probably 6 months before Lexi and Ashlee felt really comfortable and started making real friends that they felt comfortable hanging out with. It took almost an entire year to feel like we were all going to survive the move- it was shocking how long it took! Dad many times broke down while talking to me because we were all still crying a lot, and he felt so guilty making us move. It was just so hard for all of us! Well, I don't think it was that hard for Baylee, she missed a few friends- but at 4 years old you make new ones really fast. Now, almost 3 years later we have all settled, made friends, we still miss our friends in Arkansas- but know we can survive here, and the growth we have each had is obvious. Challenges are so incredibly hard while going through them, but if you keep the right attitude and look for the positive- you will learn just how strong you are, and come out of it seeing the blessings of that challenge.
I focused on the move because we all felt the sadness, and it was hard for us all. Each of you recently have gone through some challenges that have been incredibly hard for you.
Lexi has wanted to keep a 4.0 GPA, and has worked so hard for it. This year you had a teacher that was really hard, you just weren't learning and understanding what the teacher was looking for on tests. As your grade dropped you started getting upset. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but we should never minimize someone elses challenges or trials! When you set a goal and you are doing your absolute best and that goal is getting further and further out of reach, it's really frustrating. Lexi, you were able to get to a place and accept what you couldn't control, you didn't like not having the 4.0 anymore, but you found satisfaction is doing your best. Right now there are struggles with softball, and again, it's out of your hands. You have coaches who are favoring girls that have played for a certain competitive team and it's awful to watch them pass you up and take a player who has not shown the dedication and hard work that you have. Skill wise they are comparable to you, but your coaches made promises to you, and now they are not keeping them. As parents, it's terrible to watch this happen. We teach you to work hard and it will pay off, but in this situation it's not. Because you have chosen to try and not play on Sunday's coaches tend to frown on that. But I PROMISE you, that one day it will pay off. One day you will reap the benefits of standing up for what you know to be true. You will grow and learn something from this challenge. It may not be soon, or it might be- I don't know when, but I promise it will indeed come. The Lord is aware of you heart ache right now and He will bless you for making the right choices.
Ashlee had the hardest time with moving here, you struggled more than any of us. But watching you settle and find your groove has been amazing. Shortly after starting to play competitive soccer pain started occurring in your hip. Dad and I ignored it for a while, but when it started happening in both hips we took you to the chiropractor hoping that would take care of it. Fast forward almost 2 years later and after many Dr appointments we found out the hip impingement you had was indeed painful and surgery was needed. Watching you work hard before surgery to be as strong as you could possibly be, and then watching you after not even be able to move on your own was heartbreaking. After a few days you started wanting independence and figuring out ways to do things alone. You were inspiring to your Dad and I, and to your sisters on what a good attitude you had. As you missed almost 2 weeks of school, the make up wasn't easy, but you did it. You worked your way back up in Orchestra and made section leader. And now you are finally able to run, and you are out every day trying to keep working so when you are allowed to play soccer you will be strong enough. I know it hasn't been easy, and you felt sad and alone many moments, but the strength you have gained will get you through many more challenges that will come in life, and it will help you through your next surgery too!
Carly has missed her best and dearest friend Anna, and has wanted so badly to find another friend like her. Fourth grade brought a lot of friend drama for you, but you realized after being hurt many times how important finding good friends are. You won't find another friend like Anna, because there's no one like her, and your friendship will always be very special. But you have found friends that you love and that treat you well, but it was through those challenges of dealing with drama that you figured out what kind of friends you want and want to be. Gymnastics has also brought challenges. You have a couple struggles with just letting your body do what you have trained it to do. Just letting go and having faith your body will do what you've taught it to do is so scary- I could not do gymnastics! But watching you start to work on and conquer some of those fears has been incredible!
Baylee's challenges came with starting 1st grade. Mrs. Lindgren has a very different personality than any other teacher you had and you cried and cried to just go back to kindergarten. It was really hard to listen to you cry and feel so scared to go to school. We had many talks about being brave and remembering all teachers are different. The biggest change came when Mrs. Bebeau (your kindergarten teacher) found out what a struggle you were having and she knew she could help. She started giving you books to borrow and little notes of encouragement. This gave you something to look forward to, and helped you feel peace while at school. I talked to Mrs. Lindgren about your anxiety and she started doing things to try and help you too. We are at the end of the year and you LOVE Mrs. Lindgren- you aren't afraid of her and you are excelling in school. It was hard for you to be challenged in class, things always came easy and suddenly you were being challenged in spelling and math. But now you can see that when you work hard and study it helps. You too have learned at 6 years old that challenges are hard, but you are stronger now because of them.
There have been many challenges I have been through and your Dad has been through that have taught us so much. I can tell you that finding the positive in challenges and trials is not always easy, but it is possible and it makes the challenge easier to get through. You will not be able to control how or when things come in your life, but know that the Lord does. He knows what growth we need to have to get through trials and challenges we will face later in life, and He prepares us for them.
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