Challenges Are Actually A Good Thing

I have taken a LONG break from blogging, but there have been a lot of challenges we have all experienced in the last few years that have taught us things, and some challenges are still ongoing.

Moving to Minnesota would probably be one of the hardest challenges we as a family have experienced together. Dad had been applying for promotions for quite some time, but nothing seemed to be working out in Bentonville, so he started looking out of state. It was hard because we both had kind of a nagging feeling that we were supposed to move, but again- nothing was working out. It's hard to explain what it feels like to know you are supposed to do something but the opportunities aren't there for you to do them. I think it's a tender mercy from our Heavenly Father. I don't like change, and I handle it better if I'm slowly eased into it. Your Dad likes change and new adventures, so he handles it better than me. The opportunity to move to Minnesota came, and it was fast. Usually it can take months, but this was weeks, and we knew with out a doubt we were supposed to take this opportunity. It was so hard to say goodbye to our friends who had become family to us. I cried for days as it got closer, but you guys were troopers and were excited for what awaited us. When we said our final goodbyes we were all sad, it was definitely hard. At the last minute someone wanted to look at the house, so we had to do a very quick clean and get out of the house. I held in tears as we drove away. Not only had you guys grown up in that house, but so had your dad and I, we grew as parents. 

We moved into the house we rented the day before school started for you guys. The first day of school we all were trying to put on brave faces, but we were sad and scared all at the same time. Change is hard! I drove Lexi and Ashlee to school, and it was foggy, like crazy foggy! I couldn't even see the school! The Middle School was next door to the Elementary School, and I accidentally drove there instead. It was good to laugh. I said goodbye to you guys as you put on your brave faces, and as I drove away I cried and cried. As I cried I also prayed. I knew we were supposed to be here and I asked Heavenly Father to bless you to have a great first day, and make friends. It was all I could do, I had to trust and have faith.

 I got home and got Carly ready for school, then took her. Same thing all over again, lots of tears and prayers. The day went on, the movers brought all our stuff, and soon you guys were coming home on the bus. Lexi and Ashlee came home and I was so confident that my prayers were going to have been answered, I was excited to hear how great your day was. Ashlee walked in and collapsed on the couch and sobbed that it was terrible and she just wanted to go back home. I felt horrible, it was like a jolt to my heart to see such raw and sad emotion. Lexi, you looked at me and told me it was really bad- it was so hard. I couldn't even hide the disappointment I felt, I felt so defeated and let down by my Heavenly Father. Carly came home shortly after and said she made friends and had a great day- it made us all feel a tiny bit better. I had to walk out of the room and I remember just praying and asking why weren't my prayers heard or answered- I didn't like seeing how sad Lexi and Ashlee were. Right then the doorbell rang. Carly sprinted to the door- because she was the only one feeling peppy. It was 4 kids from the neighborhood, 2 of them went to middle school with Lexi and Ashlee. They came to introduce themselves so you guys would see familiar faces at school the next day. I broke down and thanked them for coming over. I tried to explain to them just how much it helped, but I was crying and probably looked like a crazy lady. Lexi and Ashlee felt better too, it was a direct answer to my prayers- and theirs too. The girls that came over didn't become best friends, but it opened a door. It took a while, probably 6 months before Lexi and Ashlee felt really comfortable and started making real friends that they felt comfortable hanging out with. It took almost an entire year to feel like we were all going to survive the move- it was shocking how long it took! Dad many times broke down while talking to me because we were all still crying a lot, and he felt so guilty making us move. It was just so hard for all of us! Well, I don't think it was that hard for Baylee, she missed a few friends- but at 4 years old you make new ones really fast. Now, almost 3 years later we have all settled, made friends, we still miss our friends in Arkansas- but know we can survive here, and the growth we have each had is obvious. Challenges are so incredibly hard while going through them, but if you keep the right attitude and look for the positive- you will learn just how strong you are, and come out of it seeing the blessings of that challenge. 

I focused on the move because we all felt the sadness, and it was hard for us all. Each of you recently have gone through some challenges that have been incredibly hard for you. 

Lexi has wanted to keep a 4.0 GPA, and has worked so hard for it. This year you had a teacher that was really hard, you just weren't learning and understanding what the teacher was looking for on tests. As your grade dropped you started getting upset. It may not seem  like a big deal to some, but we should never minimize someone elses challenges or trials! When you set a goal and you are doing your absolute best and that goal is getting further and further out of reach, it's really frustrating. Lexi, you were able to get to a place and accept what you couldn't control, you didn't like not having the 4.0 anymore, but you found satisfaction is doing your best. Right now there are struggles with softball, and again, it's out of your hands. You have coaches who are favoring girls that have played for a certain competitive team and it's awful to watch them pass you up and take a player who has not shown the dedication and hard work that you have. Skill wise they are comparable to you, but your coaches made promises to you, and now they are not keeping them. As parents, it's terrible to watch this happen. We teach you to work hard and it will pay off, but in this situation it's not. Because you have chosen to try and not play on Sunday's coaches tend to frown on that. But I PROMISE you, that one day it will pay off. One day you will reap the benefits of standing up for what you know to be true. You will grow and learn something from this challenge. It may not be soon, or it might be- I don't know when, but I promise it will indeed come. The Lord is aware of you heart ache right now and He will bless you for making the right choices.

Ashlee had the hardest time with moving here, you struggled more than any of us. But watching you settle and find your groove has been amazing. Shortly after starting to play competitive soccer pain started occurring in your hip. Dad and I ignored it for a while, but when it started happening in both hips we took you to the chiropractor hoping that would take care of it. Fast forward almost 2 years later and after many Dr appointments we found out the hip impingement you had was indeed painful and surgery was needed. Watching you work hard before surgery to be as strong as you could possibly be, and then watching you after not even be able to move on your own was heartbreaking. After a few days you started wanting independence and figuring out ways to do things alone. You were inspiring to your Dad and I, and to your sisters on what a good attitude you had. As you missed almost 2 weeks of school, the make up wasn't easy, but you did it. You worked your way back up in Orchestra and made section leader. And now you are finally able to run, and you are out every day trying to keep working so when you are allowed to play soccer you will be strong enough. I know it hasn't been easy, and you felt sad and alone many moments, but the strength you have gained will get you through many more challenges that will come in life, and it will help you through your next surgery too!

Carly has missed her best and dearest friend Anna, and has wanted so badly to find another friend like her. Fourth grade brought a lot of friend drama for you, but you realized after being hurt many times how important finding good friends are. You won't find another friend like Anna, because there's no one like her, and your friendship will always be very special. But you have found friends that you love and that treat you well, but it was through those challenges of dealing with drama that you figured out what kind of friends you want and want to be. Gymnastics has also brought challenges. You have a couple struggles with just letting your body do what you have trained it to do. Just letting go and having faith your body will do what you've taught it to do is so scary- I could not do gymnastics! But watching you start to work on and conquer some of those fears has been incredible!

Baylee's challenges came with starting 1st grade. Mrs. Lindgren has a very different personality than any other teacher you had and you cried and cried to just go back to kindergarten. It was really hard to listen to you cry and feel so scared to go to school. We had many talks about being brave and remembering all teachers are different. The biggest change came when Mrs. Bebeau (your kindergarten teacher) found out what a struggle you were having and she knew she could help. She started giving you books to borrow and little notes of encouragement. This gave you something to look forward to, and helped you feel peace while at school. I talked to Mrs. Lindgren about your anxiety and she started doing things to try and help you too. We are at the end of the year and you LOVE Mrs. Lindgren- you aren't afraid of her and you are excelling in school. It was hard for you to be challenged in class, things always came easy and suddenly you were being challenged in spelling and math. But now you can see that when you work hard and study it helps. You too have learned at 6 years old that challenges are hard, but you are stronger now because of them. 

There have been many challenges I have been through and your Dad has been through that have taught us so much. I can tell you that finding the positive in challenges and trials is not always easy, but it is possible and it makes the challenge easier to get through. You will not be able to control how or when things come in your life, but know that the Lord does. He knows what growth we need to have to get through trials and challenges we will face later in life, and He prepares us for them.

Dental Care, Mixed With A Little Life Lesson

Dear Daughters,

This may seem like a funny topic, but it is an important one!:)

 

 I decided to change our Dentist and ended up forgetting to schedule us all for new appointments. By the time I remembered and they could get us all in, it had been almost a year since we've been seen. If I'm being completely honest I wasn't really worried about two of you having cavities, it seems you have inherited the Taylor/Lund teeth from me and my side of the family. One of you had already had one cavity and I knew there would be a possibility of another cavity because, you Daughter- do not like to brush or floss your teeth. And then one of you had your very first dental appointments and I was curious to see how your little teeth had been doing.

Daughter's, I think we were all in a bit of shock when one of you came out with the hygienist and he told us, "The good news is all the cavities she has are in pretty easy to fix places, and they are evenly spread out on all sides of her mouth." I was thinking it must be four cavities, but when we were told EIGHT- I think there was an audible gasp from us all!

I know my lack of remembering to get us into the dentist played a role in the cavities, and I also know the genes your Dad passed down to you probably played a role, and on top of that the lack of good brushing definitely did not help.

Growing up I had my first cavity on a loose baby tooth, and the dentist said it was just beginning. I was so embarrassed to have a cavity, because my siblings rarely had any. I pulled that tooth that night, and from then on I was a little obsessive about flossing and brushing my teeth.

Your Dad as a kid hated going to the dentist because no matter what he did to care for his teeth he always had many cavities. And for some reason your Dad doesn't numb well for the cavity repairs, so it was very painful and quite traumatizing to go to the dentist.

You each had a 50-50 chance on who's teeth strength you'd get, and one of you seem to have gotten you Dad's. I'm sorry- it's not fun, it hurts, and I know you were really embarrassed. But, life has a funny way of teaching us things. All through life we take things for granted. We each grow teeth, we each know how to care for our teeth, but sometimes it's really a pain to take the time to take care of them.

If we choose not to take care of our teeth, just like in life there are consequences. We are told to brush and floss daily, a couple times a day if we can. If we do that, no matter what genes we have gotten from our parents- the result is stronger and healthier teeth, rather then dirty weak and cavity filled teeth. Even if we do what we should each day to care for our teeth, sometimes we still get cavities. But it doesn't mean we stop taking care of our teeth. If we stopped trying it would be so much worse.

Do you see where this is leading?:) In life we are also told and taught to do certain things- but we take many many things for granted. We have been blessed to live in a time where many things have a quick and easy fix and solution. But no matter how far technology comes- we still have a responsibility to continue doing the basics. The basics I'm talking about are praying and reading your scriptures. It takes time and effort to remember to read and pray. Trust me, I know it's not easy. It's something I struggle to remember to do. But when I do take the time and put forth the effort to take care of the basics, I know I am better because of it. My day is better, I feel happier, I have an underlying peaceful feeling. But even when I do the basics, sometimes things happen. We are not promised a perfectly easy life is we read and pray daily, just like we are not promise perfect cavity free teeth by doing the basic dental care. But we end up in a much better situation if we take care of the basics.

I know it may seem like a far stretch to like teeth to life- but it all comes down to taking time for the basics. I love each of you and want the best for you. I wish I could shield and protect you from the things that are going to cause you pain in your life- just as I wish I could have been the one in the dentist chair getting cavities filled instead of watching one of my girls have to go through pain. But I know, I KNOW, if we take care of the basics we are going to be blessed! I can't take the place of each of you as you go through your struggles and trials in you life, but I hope you each remember this tiny little lesson- brought on by eight little cavities.

And I hope you each remember to keep brushing and flossing daily!

I love you bunches!

Love,

Mom

A Learning Lesson

Dear Daughter's,

Today one of you did something every girl does at some point in their life..

 

Daughter, you tried to trim your eyebrows. Unfortunately the trimming didn't go very well and now you are left with very uneven and slightly bald looking brows. I'm sorry you have to have this little lesson in life. It's not easy to be at an age where you are learning how to do so many things by yourself.

Daughter, when I asked you about your eyebrows you became defensive and tried to act like nothing had happened to them. I made you sweet girl! I know every little thing about your body- when you were placed in my arms for the first time I was in complete awe with you. You mesmerized me. I could stare at you for hours. Your perfect copper penny colored eye brows were one of my favorite things about you- and they sat right above your beautiful bright blue eyes. I would trace your eye brows to calm and relax you when you were sick or just not able to sleep. I would kiss those same perfect eye brows every chance I could.

 

Daughter, do you remember months ago when you had your eyebrows waxed the first time? We talked about "letting the professionals do it." I talked to you about not trying to pluck them on your own at such a young age because your eyes play tricks on you. You will end up plucking your eye brows completely off because the more you look and pluck, the more uneven they begin to look. Why this has to happen- I just don't know- sometimes our eyes can be deceiving.:) When we had that conversation I didn't think about you using scissors to trim your brows. I'm so sorry I didn't warn you how awful those would be to use.

As I watched you leave for school today I had so many different thoughts. I will be honest, I wished you wouldn't have chosen to do this a few days before our family pictures are scheduled. I felt a little sad that you felt you couldn't talk to me about what happened. But Daughter, the more I thought about this little event in your life, the more it made me think of how quickly you're growing up.

Daughter, everyone has moments in their lives that they do something embarrassing to their appearance- it's just part of growing up. Part of the reason I wanted to start this blog is because I want you and your sisters to know that a lot of things are going to happen in your life, some may be good, and unfortunately some may be bad. But that is normal. It shapes us into who we become.

Daughter, when I was your age I wasn't worried so much about my eyebrows, it was my hairy upper lip- I really really disliked my moustache!:) I tried bleaching it, but that didn't work well. I tried to talk to my mom about getting it waxed but she said no. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went through the house and found anything sticky, masking tape, duct tape, band aids.. I started with the band aids because they seemed to be the least painful choice. I put the adhesive side on my upper lip and rrrrip! Oh, it hurt so bad!! I knew I'd never be able to use anything more sticky- the tape options were out, so I stuck with the band aids. I can't tell you how many I used, but I just kept putting them on and ripping them off, feeling some hair ripping out of my upper lip.

Daughter, for all that pain I went through, I was very sad to see that there was still dark hair left on my upper lip, and not only was there dark hair, but because I have super sensitive skin I had an allergic reaction to the band aids and now had a nasty rash across my upper lip. I grabbed lotions and creams to try and soften and moisten my poor upper lip- but the damage was done. I had a hairy and now rashy upper lip! That rash took almost two weeks to completely go away, it was so embarrassing!

I also did in fact pluck my eye brows almost completely off, but I was a little older. Luckily eyebrows grow quickly, and fill back in nicely!:)

 

Daughter's as you grow up things are going to happen that might embarrass us, either things we do to ourselves, or things that happen out of our control. The more you learn to laugh at them and learn from them the better it makes you.

I love you Daughter's! I even love the one of you who has uneven eyebrows right now!

I love you each bunches!

Mom